Seems that Top Ten Lists are all the rage now, and I may be late getting in the game. But, I’m going to jump right in and muck the whole thing up with a few Top Ten lists of my own, starting with my take on the Top 10 Things Freelance Writers Don’t Need.
It’s a fact that we Freelance writers are consumed by all sorts of things. The potential for a fat ass, irritability, the penchant for no sleep, and the lack of real food are just a few that come to mind. Taking all this into my tequila tainted mind, I came up with the following list:
1.
Swimming Pool
*see this post’s picture
2. Pets
*3 a.m. and you’re hungry, even a water bug looks like a steak
3. Season Pass to an amusement park
*aren’t some clients enough of a thrill ride?
4. GPS device
*who needs a digital voice parked on your desk barking at you to make a u-turn?
5. Tuxedo
*virtual Writer’s Balls haven’t caught on yet
6. 30 cup coffeemaker
*we need SOME kind of exercise
7. Home Depot card
*if it can’t be fixed with empty cigarette packs or wadded up paper, it ain’t broke
8. Comfortable chair
*see number 6
9. Gun
*3 a.m. and the dog looks like a steak, or the fifth client fired you in two days and someone left a bottle of tequila at your place
10. A life
*what the hell? you’ll just whore it out for 12 pennies a word anyway
See anything on the list you think you disagree with? What item do you think should be number 11?
© 2009, Alex Crabtree. All rights reserved.
Years ago I started writing Flash Fiction for just the sheer enjoyment of writing, and now it has turned into a full blown addiction. I can't quit the horse, man!
Another dirty little secret about me is my ability to write all kinds of web content. SEO content, articles, blog posts, manifests; you name it, I'll write it.
Looking for some help? My gun hangs at r.alex.crabtree@gmail.com
Alex Crabtree
Tags: Freelance, life, writers, Writing
This entry was posted on August 27, 2009 at 12:23 pm and is filed under Freelance, Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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It is my guess that the first thing on your list of Top Ten Things that Freelance Writers DO need is: A WOMAN. Btw Alex, fat asses are all the rage and in vogue these days, haven’t you noticed? It looks like almost everyone is a writer
<------ not looking in the mirror ;)
Hilarious and spot on!
Number eleven: a #11 on their top ten lists.
Hysterically funny….but what if you have pets already? and a gun? and a fat ass? oh no, I must be a writer…
ummm…I believe everyone needs a pet of some kind (MINE never looked like steak you weirdo!)
and if not a pool, at least access to large body of water in nature…
but that’s just me