The Making Of A Tyrant
Sep 9th, 2009 | By Alex | Category: Fiction, Flash Fiction
“Give it to me or I’ll blast your brains all over that wall.”
“You ain’t gonna shoot me, you ass wipe.”
“What? You think I got this gun on your forehead just so Picasso can come along and paint a nice picture?”
“If you kill me, you won’t get it. You think I’m stupid or something?”
“I think you’re dead.”
Click. Click click click.
“CUT! CUT CUT CUT! Goddamn it, CUT! First you sons a bitchin’ actors can’t remember yer lines or cues, and now the fuckin’ props won’t work. Grip, get that gun to someone who can fix it.” Hans Thayer dropped his head to his hands and mumbled, “If I don’t quit this piece o’ shit film, it’ll be the death of me”
Rocko leaned in from behind Hans and said, “Remember. Mister Eberto has ensured that it’ll be da death of you if you do quit dis fine creation o’ celluloid art.”
Looking up at Rocko and Vinny, Hans asked, “Do you two guys gotta be breathin’ down my neck continuously?”
“We’re here as technical advisors,” Vinny smiled, and continued, “And a little added insurance.”
“Fuckin’ babysitters, to be blunt. Jesus. We get that gun fixed yet?”
“Somebody forgot to put the blanks in it is all that was wrong with it.” The Grip answered.
“Son of a bitch. All right, places everyone.”
“Scene seven, take thirty-five.”
“Roll’ em………..ACTION!”
“Give it to me or I’ll blast your brains all over that wall.”
“You ain’t gonna shoot me, you ass wipe.”
“What? You think I got this banana on your………shit,” laughter, “I’m sorry.”
Just then, Vinny appeared in the scene with a wooden chair. He stared to pound one of the actors with the chair.
“Give it to me you little weasel. Give me the ting, or I’ll beat you into a pulp.”
Everyone on the set was in shock, except Rocko, he was smiling. The beating continued as pieces of the chair went flying.
“Stop. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Pleaded the bloody actor.
“Hey Rocko, go out and get da nut cutters. This pile o’ horse dung ain’t cooporatin’.”
“Okay! Okay! I’ll give you anything you want.” The actor whimpered.
With that, Vinny dropped what remained of the chair, straightened his tie and walked towards the director.
“Bravisimo!” Applauded Rocko.
“Dat’s how dat scene has gotta work.” Vinny proclaimed.
“That’s it! I refuse to work on this project any longer. Take five everyone. I’m going to phone Eberto and see if I can squeeze out of this fuckin’ mess.”
***
“What did you say the name of this movie was?”
“It’s called A Tyrant.”
“Hear anything about it?”
“Plenty. Ended up being directed by a Rocko Viterelli, a virtual no name.”
“Ended up? Was there another one? Before him?”
“Oh yes. Hans Thayer. The Hans Thayer.”
“The guy who directed Valley Forge?”
“That’d be him.”
“Why did they replace him with a no name?”
“According to the rumors, he disappeared with one of the original actors. They supposedly ran off to some gay community in the South Pacific.”
“ Wow. Did they have to replace the actor too?”
“Oh yes. Replaced him with one Vincent Mancinni. Another no name, and the producer is Dominick Eberto.”
“Eberto? Where have I heard that name before?”
“You know. ‘Don’ Eberto. The Godfather.”
“You gotta be shitin’ me.”
“Serious. Cross my heart and hope to…….well…..you know…….die.”
“Kinda makes you wonder if this film is any good or not.”
“Must be. Harrington gave it five stars.”
“Harrington? Of Harrington and Raines?”
“That’d be the one.”
“What’d Raines give it?
“You didn’t hear?”
“Hear what?”
“The night before the taping of the Harrington and Raines show, Raines jumped to his death. Police said he was pretty high on something. And, rumors say that he hated the movie. Thought it was absolutely horrible.”
“Wow. What’s this movie about?”
“It’s a gangster flick. Supposed to be about a Mob Boss whose influence becomes greater than the President’s.”
“How did you hear about it?”
“Some one who knows me said I had to come and see it, or else.”
“Or else? Or else what?”
“Can’t say. Won’t say. Would rather not think about it.”
“Made you an offer you couldn’t refuse, huh?” Laughing.
“Shut up and eat your damn popcorn, the movie’s startin’.”
Millions of crooked cops, bad gamblers, and shady characters went to see this movie, making A Tyrant the biggest grossing film of all time.
