Flash Fiction Friday:

The applause was thunderous. The premier of ‘Elwood The Wonder Pig’ had been a smashing success.

Reporters surrounded Jake, asking about the three-legged pig and its amazing feats of acrobatics and strength.

“What happened to Elwood’s fourth leg?”

Farmer Jake replied, “A pig that smart, you think I’m gonna eat him all at once?”

Add Flash Fiction Friday to your “must read” list for quick fun.

© 2009, Alex Crabtree. All rights reserved.

He was leaning just inside the icebox to grab his next beer when she appeared in the kitchen, wearing a flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Winter was setting in so she had put her summer threads away and was in the process of trying on her cozier, warmer clothes.

“Is my butt getting bigger?” She asked.

He had one hand on top of the refrigerator door and was in mid-reach when she hit him with that sledgehammer of a question. He learned his lesson about lying to her when he took five bucks from her purse. The things she did with crazy glue while he was asleep. No way would he lie to her again.

He stopped, glanced over his shoulder and gave a deadpan reply, “Looks that way to me.”

The last thing he heard was her uttering, “asshole”. That warm and wet sensation of what must have been his urine being soaked up by his pants at last relinquished itself to the furious activities of the brain going through the process of physiological bankruptcy. Fear of death was now acceptance, and he was left waiting for that last neurological light to burn out.

As he waited, he figured out what protruded from the center of his back was the butcher knife she used for everything from dicing onions, to prying apart those frozen beef patties.

Then the wait, along with everything else, was over.

© 2009, Alex Crabtree. All rights reserved.