This is my response to the Religion Memoir call set upon us by Kim Manley Ort. Although many, many experiences have helped formulate my personal beliefs about organized religions, I can pinpoint two Sundays that collectively became the canvass which I painted my views…

I have no faith based home other than the one God gave me at birth. Oh, it’s not like I never had one, because throughout my life I’ve had several. The first eight years of my life were spent in a Catholic home, then a few with the Worldwide Church of God, and then twenty back with the Catholics before I left my ex wife. Now, I worship in ways that would be called aimless because I don’t attend any weekly services, but I have a bad taste in my mouth for organized religion, so it wouldn’t do any good for me to find a home.

I have come to believe that most, not all, are marketing scams in the business of reaping dollars more than they are healing souls. And most use the worst kind of tactics available; fear mongering.

This is especially true in the splintered, primitive faiths that preach if you are not a member of their church, you are most certainly destined for Hell. I have seen the message delivered time and time again at Pentecostal services as well as Primitive Baptist gatherings. What I always find saddest about this general message is the blind faith the congregations have in their pastors, which is completely different than having faith in God.

My first experience with observing blind faith in action came when I was 16 years old. There was a girl in the neighborhood that I really was infatuated with, hell, most of the boys my age were in love with this chick, but I decided I was going to do the one thing the others were not willing to do; escort her to church. I went to the Primitive Baptist service not once, but two weeks in a row.

The first Sunday, I was left speechless in the small building tucked away in a neighborhood that was a poorly disguised trailer park near the river bottoms. What I witnessed was nothing short of incredible. There were five ministers who took turns at the pulpit; well…each one only stopped at the pulpit momentarily during his time on the stage because each one seemed to use every inch of the platform. Overly animated and grunting asthmatically, not one of the ministers could utter an understandable word, yet the congregation reacted excitedly as if they could make out every word in the garble growling directed towards them.

Apparently they were speaking in Tongues and all fifty-three attending members could fluently speak Tongues as well.

I had a week to think about what I witnessed and decided to give it another chance, besides, the girl showed great favor to me because I was the only boy who went to church with her.

So, the second week’s service was no different than the first and I just laughed. These people were following a message that couldn’t be understood; a message so guttural and primal that it smelled of venomous hatred. This was blind faith and the congregation had no care for where they were being led, just that they were.

Needless to say, I lost the favor of the cute chick shortly after that second service, and as I said then, “Big deal.”

I have since felt saddened for those who have been economically oppressed, or down and out enough to fall prey to religious factions bent on holding them captive through fear and the offering of false hope. Factions including the snake handlers, Jim Jones, the UFO cults, the Moonies, and a whole host of others have mislead the downtrodden to extremes, including death.

These religions seem to profess a prophecy that points to the end of time, either by some hard date, or by the way an individual lives. This always strikes me as odd because nearly every one of them carry and thump a King James bible which has a passage somewhere in the New Testament that says “…like a thief in the night.”

For me, the same bible that the blind faith religions swear damnation by, contains the overriding message of love. This is the number one commandment as I see and I haven’t seen too many ministers preach it on a regular basis. If we love each other through guidance, tolerance, and compassion, how can we not find peace at the end of the day?

So, although I have no religious home, so to speak, I am comfortable with my own devotion and meditation concerning the divine creator’s message of love. And this comes after not only experiencing sad displays of blind faith over and over again, but also looking around and seeing what brings true peace and happiness to everyone who finds them.

© 2010, Alex Crabtree. All rights reserved.

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This entry was posted on December 6, 2010 at 7:32 pm and is filed under Memoirs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.